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“We want to bear in mind that the emotional lives of young people are a very complex and mixed picture with very real ups and also downs,” said Dr. Lisa Damour, a clinical psychologist in Ohio who partnered with the Walton Family Foundation and Gallup in the research.

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Of the preteens and teens who were surveyed, 45% said they felt stressed the day before, 38% felt anxious and 23% felt sad, according to the data. But nearly all of them — 94% — said they also felt happiness for much of that day.

“What I hope that families can take from these results is that kids have ups at least as much as they have downs, kids have terrific, really healthy ways of managing their own emotions,” said Damour, author of “The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents.” “That listening, offering space, comfort and reassurance is often all that kids are looking for.”

Years ago, your child may have come running to you with a scraped knee or a friend who wouldn’t share, and your hug would do just the trick.

“If your big kid’s upset, it may be a grade, it may be a blowup with a friend, it may be something actually that has to do with risky behavior,” she said. And the approaches that worked with your kids before often stop working in adolescence, Damour added.

Yes, teens are often facing greater challenges than the generations before them, and it is easy to blame that on the Covid-19 pandemic, said Stephanie Marken, a senior partner at Gallup who worked with the Walton Family Foundation in designing, architecting and implementing the research.

But research showed that difficulties with anxiety and isolation were on the rise even before the outbreak, she said.

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“What I have learned from teenagers is it’s actually a very elaborate and specific process,” she added. “Many of them have playlists that match a mood. They have angry playlists, they have sad playlists, they have get-excited, pump-up playlists.”

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“As long as it’s done in moderation, distraction is a perfectly effective way to handle a feeling,” she added.

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“Young people themselves have very adaptive ways for handling their distress, and I think as adults, we can be very quick to blow past or minimize all of the incredibly adaptive strategies they use,” she said.

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“In my experience as a psychologist, if they want advice, they’ll ask for it, or we should ask them if it’s what they want,” Damour said.

It might seem obvious to listen first and then offer help, but that can be hard to do when you so badly want your child to feel better, Marken said. Often adults find themselves jumping right to a solution.

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It’s essential to empower teens when working through difficult things by talking with them, not at them, Trotter said.

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“There’s no one silver bullet to help solve some of these issues students are facing,” Marken said. “It’s going to be multiple things that we have to do to help students become more resilient and … help them also get some tools in their own tool belt to overcome some of these challenges.”

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