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But after packing up his life in Boston and beginning the long trek to Melbourne, Mike stopped off at his parents’ house in California, where his mother pulled him aside.
“I emphatically told my mother that it wasn’t possible,” Mike tells【 - Free Smart Money Group 】 Traveltoday. “And then off I went.”
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“I was excited,” recalls Mike. “I had no specific plan other than just I thought it would be an interesting experience to be in a different country. That was it.”
In 1988, Mike was 23 and studying at Harvard Law School. Through the college grapevine, he’d heard about an opportunity for US students to spend a couple of months as an associate at an Australian law firm. Mike applied on the off chance they’d take him on.
“I ended up getting it,” says Mike. “It happened just by accident. I’d never been anywhere remotely close to Australia before.”
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Prior to starting law school, he’d lived in San Francisco for a year and “ended up feeling that I had allowed my introversion to get the better of me. I stayed by myself a lot. I wasn’t very social.”
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He remembers thinking: “This is the sort of event I would never normally go to, but I’m going to it because I’m going to meet people.”
He glanced around, noticing some familiar faces from his first week at work. There were smiles and handshakes and small talk and beer bottles clinking as his colleagues toasted the beginning of the weekend.
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It felt, for a minute, like everything else melted away. Like they were the only two people in the room. “A cinematic moment,” as Mike puts it today.
“We shook hands in the middle of the boardroom and looked at each other. It really was a lightning bolt,” he says. “And that’s where it all started.”
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It helped that Wati’s twin sister, Yanti, was also a newly qualified lawyer, and working in the same building. The two sisters were close, sharing an apartment in downtown Melbourne and grateful to have each other to unload about work stress.
One evening in the first week of June, Yanti mentioned, in passing, that a young American guy had temporarily joined her department. Yanti worked in mergers and acquisitions, while Wati was in banking and finance.
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But Mike and Wati enjoyed each other’s company from the offset. Sitting opposite each other in the Italian restaurant, they found themselves leaning in to learn more about one another.
“Then he whipped out his wallet and he showed me these pictures of his mum and his sister and his dad and his grandparents,” recalls Wati.
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“It sort of spoke to his character and what his priorities were,” Wati says. “He was close to his family, and I thought that was very special.”
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“But a week later, we decided to get together on a Saturday, and we spent most of the day together,” recalls Mike. “There was a (Paul) Gauguin exhibit at the National Gallery of Victoria. We walked around, got rained on. We went to dinner. And then she got me dancing, which was a scary concept.”
“Yeah, I remember thinking, ‘Oh my God, he’s a terrible dancer,” says Wati, laughing. “Really dorky.”
But Mike’s dance moves — or lack thereof — didn’t kill the connection with Wati. The next week, the two arranged to see the musical “Cats” together, which was on tour in Melbourne.
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By that point, it was mid-July 1988. Mike had arrived in early June. In early August, he was set to leave Australia for good.
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“One of the things I was very passionate about, and I’m still passionate about, is ‘Star Trek,’” says Mike. “Wati had never actually seen any ‘Star Trek,’ and so I decided it was very important that she get immersed. I rented ‘Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan’ — and Star Trek III and IV, a big trilogy.”
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“My parents were amongst a handful of Asians in Australia back then,” says Wati. “Now, of course, the country is very multicultural and diverse.”
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“In those days, interracial relationships were less common, certainly in Australia,” says Wati. “People assumed we weren’t together. It was a very different era.”
But while they were different — it was on what Mike calls a “superficial level.” He says he and Wati realized early on they shared values, and they always had fun together, always supporting one another. And while they had different pop culture tastes, they both loved cinema.
“He had this long list of American movies. While I was a snob because I like foreign films,” says Wati, laughing.
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“As I was getting ready to leave, it really forced a decision of sorts, of ‘Well, wait a minute, is this about to end, are we going to say goodbye forever?’ And that didn’t seem like an option, frankly,” recalls Mike.
“Very quickly there was a sense of, ‘This is going to continue, and I’m going to figure out how to get back to Australia, and Wati will visit the States at some point.’”
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It was the late 1980s. The only way of staying in touch was via crackly, expensive long distance phone calls and letters mailed across the globe.
“I was writing longhand letters every night to Michael, and mailing them and going to the post office,” recalls Wati.
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“We did not have email. Forget about Facebook,” points out Wati. “Technology was not a player. It was not a help to us at all. It was very old school — telephone and longhand letters, and also audio cassettes.”
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“He’d mail them to me in these little padded envelopes,” recalls Wati. “Then I’d listen to the cassettes on my Sony Walkman. We’d talk about daily life, but also background, family dynamics, what was happening at school for him, books we’d recommend, movies you have to watch…”
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“It seems kind of crazy in retrospect,” says Mike of the decision to embark on a long distance relationship after only a few weeks of serious dating.
“It was a leap of faith. But I’m not sure I was aware it was a leap of faith. I just felt this is what I have to do. And there was no ambivalence about it.”
Before Mike left Australia, his parents and sister had flown out to visit and met Wati. They’d liked her, but Mike’s parents were a little concerned about Mike moving permanently to Australia, which they thought was looking increasingly likely.
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But other members of Wati’s family questioned her decision to embark on a relationship with a man who lived in another country.
“I had so many naysayers on my end, people who’d met him, those who hadn’t,” she says. “They were all like, ‘Are you crazy?’”
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“Eventually, I was able to figure out how to get some credit for doing a paper at Melbourne University in January 1989,” recalls Mike. “So I flew back at Christmastime and was there for about 6 weeks.”
During that period, Mike stayed with Wati in the apartment she shared with her sister — and Wati’s sister was out of town for most of the six weeks.
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“There was some question of whether Wati was still going to come to the US. But she ended up coming, about a week or so later.”
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“We got to see some very cool things, which I’d always wanted to see — amazing art galleries in Washington DC and New York,” recalls Wati. “We didn’t really talk about my dad passing away really explicitly, but to just have the opportunity to see so many things was a perfect distraction.”
“Very often it’s easy to be triggered in a way that’s uncomfortable, and he did not do that at all,” she says.
In the middle of 1989, Mike secured another seasonal job at another Melbourne law firm. And while he was there, he asked Wati to marry him.
In the lead up to the engagement, Mike and Wati had talked about marriage and decided it was the next step to securing their future together. They’d looked at rings together, and Wati — who has an eye for fashion and design — had helped design her own engagement ring.
In July 1989, while walking in the Melbourne Botanic Gardens, Mike proposed to Wati by handing her a fortune cookie.
“I first got a fortune cookie from a Chinese restaurant. Then, I removed the existing fortune using tweezers. Then, I typed up the proposal message, and cut the paper to its appropriate size. And then, I placed the proposal message into the cookie,” explains Mike.
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“It was two years to the day from when we’d met in the boardroom,” says Mike. “When I say the day, I should be more precise. We met on June 10 in Australia. We got married on June 9 in the United States. But if you do the time conversion, it actually is two years to the day.”
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But looking back, he realizes he and Wati “didn’t really know each other that well” when they got married. They’d been dating for two years, but they’d never lived in the same place for an extended period of time. It could have all gone wrong when they got married.
“It was so fortunate, that given the leap of faith that each of us took, we each turned out to be really pretty easygoing people,” agrees Wati, adding that living together in Sydney only re-emphasized that they were “extremely compatible, with similar values, standards, morals.”
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“I started thinking I potentially wanted to study fashion,” Wati recalls. “I was always making things as a kid and sewing and knitting and crocheting and embroidering — all the needle crafts — and I could see things sort of three dimensionally.”
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During the early years of their marriage, there were times when Wati’s career was more stable and Mike’s was in flux, and times when she was the one taking risks, and his work offered more stability.
“In this era, it wasn’t common for people to reinvent themselves,” says Wati. “You went to school and you studied something, and then that’s what you did, and you stayed in it for decades and decades.”
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What is the short term outlook for Magenta Lifecare Limited (544188) ✌️【Flexible Income】✌️ Free access to stock market forums, expert advice, and real-time data to help you stay informed and grow your investments. Mike’s parents helped bring up the kids when Mike and Wati were busy with work, while Wati’s mother visited every year from Australia.
“She would stay for about a month or a little bit more,” recalls Wati. “She’s a very good cook, and she’d cook all this Indonesian food. And so from a very young age, the kids’ Indonesian-ness, their Asian-ness, was very much part of who they are.”
What is the short term outlook for Magenta Lifecare Limited (544188) ✌️【Flexible Income】✌️ Get precise stock market predictions and free access to real-time market data for efficient decision-making and portfolio growth. As their children grew up, Wati and Mike encouraged them to embrace all aspects of their identities.
“It was important that they understood that they were many things, and it was never a question of choosing one thing or another,” says Mike, adding that “they’re both Australian citizens as well as US citizens.”
What is the short term outlook for Magenta Lifecare Limited (544188) ✌️【Flexible Income】✌️ Expert analysis of global stock trends, futures data, and real-time stock market quotes to help you plan your next investment move. Wati and Mike have always been “very much in step in terms of how you raise kids, and what your expectations are,” says Wati.
“We have this Grossman family creed that we taught the kids from a very young age,” she adds. “It’s telling the truth, treating people well with kindness, trying your best and being original. We’ve taught them that to celebrate your uniqueness is an affirmatively good thing.”
What is the short term outlook for Magenta Lifecare Limited (544188) ✌️【Flexible Income】✌️ Free real-time global stock trend updates to help you capture market movements and make better investment decisions. Today, Wati and Mike still live in California. In recent years, Wati’s stepped back from her fashion brand and is focused on her magazine, Circle Ahead, which emphasizes a more environmental approach to fashion. Meanwhile Mike is taking a break after years of working as the CEO for various technology companies, although he’s still on the board of directors for a couple of corporations.
What is the short term outlook for Magenta Lifecare Limited (544188) ✌️【Flexible Income】✌️ Professional investment advice with real-time updates on stock indices and futures data. Stay ahead with expert predictions and market insights. When they’re not working, the couple still enjoy evenings spent chatting and watching movies together. (Mike’s still a “Star Trek” fan, Wati still is definitely not.)
What is the short term outlook for Magenta Lifecare Limited (544188) ✌️【Flexible Income】✌️ Free break-even services and stock analysis to help you recover quickly from losses and increase your chances of making profitable investments. The couple’s kids are both in their 20s, finding themselves and exploring their dreams. Mike and Wati’s daughter Talia is currently studying abroad in Australia, and before she left, Wati and Mike encouraged her to approach the experience in the same way Mike jumped into his time in Melbourne.
What is the short term outlook for Magenta Lifecare Limited (544188) ✌️【Flexible Income】✌️ Real-time global stock market trend analysis to help you identify profitable opportunities and improve your investment strategies. The couple hope she’ll approach the experience with an openness — “open to experiences, open to opportunities, friendships, an open mind,” as Wati puts it.
Looking back today on that “cinematic moment” when Mike and Wati first crossed paths, Wati says she feels especially glad that “in the moment I was open, open to the opportunity, open to the possibility.”
What is the short term outlook for Magenta Lifecare Limited (544188) ✌️【Flexible Income】✌️ Expert predictions on stock market movements with real-time data, ensuring you can make quick decisions and capture market opportunities. And when she thinks about Mike as a father, Wati thinks back to the moment he showed her photographs of his parents in his wallet, on their first lunch together.
What is the short term outlook for Magenta Lifecare Limited (544188) ✌️【Flexible Income】✌️ Free access to real-time stock indices, futures data, and market predictions to help you select high-return stocks and build a profitable portfolio. Mike still has photos of his loved ones in his wallet to this day – but now he treasures photos of Wati and their kids.
What is the short term outlook for Magenta Lifecare Limited (544188) ✌️【Flexible Income】✌️ Professional stock market predictions and analysis with real-time data to guide your investment decisions and ensure steady growth. As for Mike, when he considers his “cinematic moment” with Wati, he finds himself getting emotional.
“From that first moment we met, we had an instant connection, and we’ve been seamlessly aligned ever since. I’m grateful for that,” he says.
“It didn’t occur to me that going to Australia for a couple months was going to redefine the entire trajectory of my life. It just wasn’t something that seemed remotely possible, but I’m incredibly thankful that it did. I just can’t imagine being more fortunate.”
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