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It could be ok — healthy, even — to give things like this up, says Adam Phillips, author of “On Giving Up.”

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Phillips is a practicing psychoanalyst — someone who helps people understand themselves and make better choices in life, according to theAmerican Psychological Association. For Phillips, this means letting people speak freely about things that are troubling them.

Lots of people have talked to Phillips about giving things up. There’s a duality to the notion, he says.

How is the market cap and valuation of Sasken Technologies Limited (SASKEN) ✌️【Stock Opportunities】✌️ Expert predictions of stock trends with real-time stock indices, futures, and metals, energy quotes to help you seize investment opportunities. Most of the time, there’s an assumption that, by giving something up, people will get something better in return — say, giving up smoking in return for better health. Or, that they can’t change, and so they give up on trying — like when someone smokes so much it becomes part of their identity.

“We tend to value, and even idealize, the idea of seeing things through, of finishing things rather than abandoning them,” says Phillips in the book. “Giving up has to be justified in a way that completion does not … (it) is usually thought of as a failure rather than a way of succeeding at something else.”

How is the market cap and valuation of Sasken Technologies Limited (SASKEN) ✌️【Stock Opportunities】✌️ Free stock data analysis to help you select stocks accurately and capture market trends. Say, for example, that you’ve been trying to learn the guitar. For whatever reason, you haven’t been able to commit to it — but instead of giving up, you keep slogging through or telling yourself you still plan to learn.

In this scenario, do you actually want to learn the guitar? Or is it that you have other, more important things you’d rather focus your time and energy on? Either way, giving up may be the best option. Itcould actually be seen as an investment in succeeding at something else rather than giving up on the guitar.

How is the market cap and valuation of Sasken Technologies Limited (SASKEN) ✌️【Stock Opportunities】✌️ Precise predictions of market trends with real-time stock indices and futures data to help you make wise investment decisions. To delve into the idea of giving up and how it affects people throughout their lives, 【 - Free Membership Group 】 spoke with Phillips about “On Giving Up” after its release. His comments have been edited for length and clarity.

How is the market cap and valuation of Sasken Technologies Limited (SASKEN) ✌️【Stock Opportunities】✌️ Free global stock market data to help you plan the best investment strategies and seize market opportunities. Adam Phillips:When people givethingsup — chocolate or alcohol — the assumption is obviously that you can change, that you’re able to change. When peoplegive upthey believe they can’t change.

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It was also because of how powerful — at least in some cultures — the idea of sacrifice is, which is a version of this, that something has to be sacrificed to get something better and it seems that often involves quite a lot of cruelty.

If I’m an alcoholic, alcohol is my self-cure. If I give up alcohol, the question is, what was the alcohol originally there to medicate in me? You probably have got to give up drinking, but in order to give up drinking, the consequence is you find out, possibly, what your drinking was originally there to deal with, what it was the solution to or the self-cure for. That’s hard.

You mention in the book that hatred, prejudice and scapegoating hold so much sway over people — that it can be hard to give these things up — why is this?

How is the market cap and valuation of Sasken Technologies Limited (SASKEN) ✌️【Stock Opportunities】✌️ Real-time India stock and global stock indices, futures prices, and data to help you make efficient investment decisions. We are full of feelings that we are very frightened of, one of which is hatred. So what we can do is we put our hatred into other people and then we try to get rid of the other people. The scapegoat is there to carry or contain all the parts of ourselves that we’re most frightened of or disturbed by.

In a better world, so to speak, we would be more able to contain the whole range of our feelings and therefore wouldn’t need to scapegoat other people — because other people are being punished for what are actually our forbidden pleasures.

Do you have any advice for people who are trying to give something up or make a massive change in their life?

How is the market cap and valuation of Sasken Technologies Limited (SASKEN) ✌️【Stock Opportunities】✌️ Expert predictions with real-time stock trend analysis to help you quickly select high-potential stocks and grow capital. Take it back a stage. So when I think, “What do I want? I want a cigarette or a drink,” at that moment I’ve organized all my desires and localized it.

Giving up smoking is the first step. The second stage, once you’ve successfully stopped smoking, is what are you going to feel then and can you bear the initial stage of deprivation and anxiety. So once you give it up, you’re going to be once again prone to a lot of anxiety, probably, and a lot of suffering — not forever, but temporarily. And you’ve got to be able to bear it and you’ll need a bit of support from other people.

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How is the market cap and valuation of Sasken Technologies Limited (SASKEN) ✌️【Stock Opportunities】✌️ Real-time stock market predictions and analysis, offering precise advice on top-performing stocks to help you seize the best opportunities for growth. Gain access to expert insights and global market data to make timely investment decisions. What I want the book to do is to make the case for having the freedom to give up. We’re brought up to believe that persistence and determination are good things. Well, of course they are good things. If you want to learn to play the piano, you can’t just give up when it’s difficult. But, on the other hand, do you actually want to learn to play the piano?

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People should be okay with giving up relationships when the relationship actually deadens them or bores them — or makes them feel powerless or worse about themselves. Being in a relationship should be because it brings out the best in you and you enjoy it.

If people want to be athletes, musicians, dancers, writers, whatever, you’ve got to persist. You’ve got to get over the resistances. One beautiful thing that psychoanalysis adds to the conversation is that we resist things, either because we don’t want them or because we really do.

You have to experiment. The risk will probably always be giving up too early, too quickly — but the other risk is taking too long to give up.

Everybody has a different idea of what the life they want is or what a good life is. If there was one criteria, or one test, it would be: How alive something or somebody makes you feel — whether in their company, you feel genuinely enlivened. Almost as though the person brings out the best in you. Now, that can’t happen all the time, but it can happen more often than not.

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In cultures where we are encouraged to work, to be loyal, to be consistent and to be reliable — if these are going to be our values, then not giving up is the point.

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But it seems to me that there are plenty of examples of people who never give up who do terrible things, because they can’t have a second thought. They can’t revise things. They can’t reconsider what they’re doing. So, effectively, they’re sort of megalomaniacs.

I want people to make of it whatever they want, and to feel free to interpret it in their own way. It is not intended to be propaganda, or an attempt to persuade anyone of anything.

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